


I Want You Back (In the Middle of This Fight)

by HatlessHoneybee



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Maybe Breakup, Not Steve Bashing, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sad Ending, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Songfic, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 13:31:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16535486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HatlessHoneybee/pseuds/HatlessHoneybee
Summary: Tony returns home after the events of Civil war and contemplates his relationship with Steve, all the way til Thanos arrives.





	I Want You Back (In the Middle of This Fight)

**Author's Note:**

> *Shows up months late with protein shake and a sad story*
> 
> I'm back! Sorry I've been gone so long, but my life has been crazy. I moved home, getting ready to start college, spent some time in the hospital. Now I'm training to compete as a boxer which takes up almost all my time. So I really hope that you guys are patient with me. I'm thinking I'll be doing more Marvel works and a few different fandoms like Star Trek. Anyways, I'm terribly sorry you guys. I know this won't cheer anyone up, but I heard the song and immediately had this in my head.
> 
> As always, it is self edited so please excuse any spelling errors or grammar mistakes. Thanks.
> 
> I do not own Marvel or any of it's affiliates. This is a work of pure fiction. I also do not own the song. All rights to the song go to Regina Spektor and Odezda! Thank you

_I washed all the windows_

_Threw away the sheets that we used_

_All your towels are getting laundered_

_All our pictures in the desk drawer_

Tony dragged himself up the elevator, having been cleared by the hospital to go home. Normally, he would have fought them, something all the avengers were known for. _Were_. He guessed there were no avengers now. Torn apart, they were scattered across continents. Steve was in hiding, hopping countries.

God, Tony didn't even want to think about the trainwreck of a relationship he had with Steve now. Before the fight, before the accords, before everything went to Hell, he and Steve were something. Now, he didn't know what the hell they were. He couldn't bring himself to call a man he once loved so fiercely (as Tony always did) an enemy.

Making his way into the bedroom, Tony ordered Friday to bring up the lights and took a look around.

There were pieces of Steve everywhere. Workout clothes fallen outside the bathroom, his towel hanging in the hamper. A collection of sketchbooks sat on his side of the bed, each filled with sketches of Tony, the rest of the avengers, and whatever site happened to appeal to his artistic nature. There was even a stack of 21st century books on the dresser, Steve trying to catch up to all the stuff he missed.

Tony took the cellphone out of his pocket and flipped it open, staring at the sole number looking back at him. With a sigh, he tossed it on his nightstand and got to work. He had to get rid of all of Steve's stuff, keep it from lingering with him. It was gonna take some time.

_But I want you back_

_In the middle of the night_

Tony laid, freshly showered in his bed. The largeness of it that he used to praise now felt like too much space without a muscled body lying next to him.

_I want you back_

_In the middle of this fight_

Tony spent the next week or so dealing with the accords and with General Ross. The accords were the right thing, he knew it in his heart. Steve was wrong. _Is_ wrong. But a part of him feels like the accords were only a cover. That Bucky was at the heart of it all.

Of course, he knew that it was a familial love between Bucky and Steve. That's not what made his eyes sting and his chest ache. It was the fact that he wasn't good enough, again. He wasn't good enough with for his father. How ironic was it that Howard chose Steve over him and when given the opportunity, Steve chose someone else just as easy. Maybe it was Tony. Maybe.

_I never sleep_

_In the middle of the night_

_I want you back_

_In the middle of this fight_

Tony spent his nights in the workshop, trying to improve everything, it all had to be better. There wasn't a single thing he didn't tear apart and put back together piece by bloody piece, stripping it and hoping to make even the slightest improvements. Everything had to be perfect for the next fight, the next enemy. God, he prayed Steve wasn't on that list.

_Baby, come back and fight_

_Baby, come back and fight_

_With me_

It took a couple of months, but things seemed to get better. Tony continued on with his work at a much healthier pace. Even Rhodey had commented that Tony seemed to be pulling his act together. But the truth was he was just giving into the voice. To the nagging voice at the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Steve telling him to put down the alcohol. Pick up a sandwhich. Take a shower. Try to sleep. It was a shame the real Steve wasn't around for it.

_I don't do the things I used to do_

_And I don't drink the way I used to_

_All your advice, I finally took it_

_When you're not 'round to see me do it_

Tony managed to somehow keep tabs on Steve. He knew that he was hopping from country to country, under disguise and doing a spectacular job of hiding. The government couldn't find him, but a guy like Tony, the money and means he had, it was only a matter of time before he was able to find some information.

He kept it to himself, locked away in a file that he couldn't bring himself to look at, except for in the latest parts of the night.

_But I want you back_

_In the middle of the night_

_I want you back_

_In the middle of this fight_

_I never sleep_

_And I gotta get it right_

Fighting Thanos was one of the hardest things Tony has ever done. Doing it with complete strangers was even harder. He sat aboard that alien ship, watching the kid he would sacrifice anything for now, the wizard with a hardened exterior, and a group of aliens come together as his allies and it felt wrong.

He wanted arrows flying past his shoulder, accompanied by goodhearted jeering. He wanted flashes of red hair, the roar of thunder rivaled by the roar of the Hulk. More than anything, he wanted to see that red, white, and blue fly by him again.

_Baby, come back and fight_

_Baby, come back and fight_

_With me_

Tony sat there with ashes in his hands, the ashes of a kid he never should have brought along. The last words of Strange muttered as he, too, washed away in the wind. It was the words of Thanos that made him want to break. _"I hope they remember you"_. Tony hoped to whatever entity there was that Steve remebered him.

_I don't want us just to be a memory_

_Baby, come back and fight with me_

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you guys enjoyed that. It's been a really long time since I've written anything and I don't know when I'll have time to post again. Thanks for all the support!
> 
> The song is "Just a Memory" by Odezda feat. Regina Spektor. I recommend you listen to it while reading this fic or after or whenever. It's just a really good song. Thank you! Hopefully I'll be back soon!


End file.
